My break from posting is lasting longer than expected.

I’m in a bad place right now. Don’t get me wrong: I feel fine in my every day life. At least I feel as fine as I’m able to and that’s really all I’m asking.

The problem is that I’m pushing on to avoid not feeling fine. And every time I sit down and try to write something like an entry to a blog I can feel something shattering inside me. My eyes get teary and that big, dark hole I’m constantly on the run from is forming again.

I’ve got no reason to feel like this. And therefor I have to just keep avoiding it until it’s over.

What I’m saying is that I want to write blog posts again, but right now I can’t.


Things I’m afraid of

  • Birds and some insects
  • Cows
  • Drunk strangers (especially drunk and loud strangers)
  • Driving when it’s foggy
  • Failing. In general, basically in everything I do.
  • Losing loved ones
  • Never finding a meaning with this life
  • Being unaccepted
  • Most life-sized statues
  • Losing myself
  • Losing myself
  • Losing myself