The title is probably misleading. But is it though? Is Lind a girly name?
I often find myself discussing gender identity with people. It’s interesting and I like talking about it, but it also feels strange to me. I guess, mostly because I find it a bit weird to talk about stuff like that with other cis-gendered people. But then sometimes it gets interesting because the question “but what the fuck is a woman?” is raised.
I like that.
I like that question.
I can’t answer it though. Well, I guess no one can. But that’s not what I’m going to talk about!
I am sometimes (very rarely, but often enough to notice) asked whether I consider myself genderfluid or something like that. I better start out by saying that I don’t. It’s usually activists who has asked me about it and it’s always been because we’ve talked about gender and gender issues.
I guess the reason for people to ask is the fact that I always get upset whenever people try to categorize me as a person. Some people use the phrase “You’re not exactly a girly-girl” and I cringe. When I was a kid I hated dresses and when you look at old pictures of me a lot of them just shows a child. Not a girl or a boy and I really like that.
Now I still prefer jeans. I never wear skirts and I don’t care for clothes that shows off my body. It’s just a preference, really. I get why some people prefer clothes that actually do something. I’m just not sure I really like what my body looks like when I’m wearing a tight shirt.
I hate my boobs. There. I said it. My boobs suck. Not that they’re ugly or anything (I don’t know if they are. Can boobs be ugly?), I just don’t like them. I think I’d prefer myself without boobs. And it’s around when I say that people ask me if I identify as female. That’s so fucking weird.
And again, I’m really happy that it’s only been a few times people have asked me.
Okay.. It’s not that I’ve told more than a few that I really fucking hate my boobs. It’s just a weird statement, you know? I’m not insecure about my body and it’s not like I want to get rid of them (maybe I do.. I’m not sure). I think it’s hard to explain.
I think the reason I blogged about this is because I hoped I would find a way to explain it. I think I failed on that one.